Are you kidding me?

Our What the Flow community is going live THIS month! 🙌🏻🎊🤩

I've had several people express excitement for putting this out there, and I can't wait to share it with you! I've met SEVERAL women who are so ready to share their stories and figure out just what the heck is going on with our changing bodies!

Each person I've talked to has had at least one experience where they felt totally misunderstood or even dismissed by a healthcare provider.

I have to be honest. It makes me sad (and mad). I hear this often from the women in my practice too. They have been told things like:

  • "Everything looks good. Just eat better and exercise." - a woman with "normal" labwork, but she felt consistently tired with brain fog and digestive problems

  • "You're too young to have hormone problems." - told to a young woman with debilitating period pain every month

  • "You're young. If it hurts, you're probably not doing it right." - told to a young woman when she told her OBGYN she was having pain during sex with her husband

  • "Everything is normal. You don't have anything wrong. This must be in your head. Let's try some anxiety or depression medication." -  a woman struggling with daily anxiety that came on suddenly

I maintain my cool, but it really makes me want to scream on the inside!! As a health care provider, we are better than this. As a woman whose battled pelvic pain and hormone imbalance for over 2 decades, it's happened to me too. And it's humiliating, frustrating, and sometimes just downright demoralizing. 

We deserve better. We have to be empowered to stand up for ourselves when it comes to our health care, and there's a proper, respectful, and effective way to do it. It starts with understanding ourselves, learning the difference between what's COMMON versus what's actually NORMAL, starting the conversation, and then knowing when someone is or isn't a good fit.

Most healthcare providers want to do right by us, but honestly, healthcare has become so complicated and such a BIG business that providers are just so busy! We HAVE TO take ownership (and accountability) of a large portion of our health, and believe it or not, there's A LOT we can do on our own.

These are exactly the things we'll do together in What the Flow. We’ll talk about the hard things, get educated, get empowered, and take action...and we'll do it together. 

One-on-one care can be expensive. My hope is this community can be a big part of each of our healing processes, where maybe you'll need the doctor's office visit less often or we prevent some serious complications from even developing. 

I'd love for you to join us! If this sounds like what you've been looking for, click the button below to learn more. And as always, let me know if you have any thoughts or questions. 

P.S. 👉🏻 Comment below and tell me if you've had any interesting experiences or felt dismissed by your healthcare providers. 

Ready to join now?

If this totally resonates with you, then we'd love to have you join us now before our official launch THIS month! The first ladies to join through July will be our Founding Members and can join at a discounted price. We hope to see you there!

Please Knock Me Out!

I vividly remember being a senior in high school, in the car with my mom on the way to get my wisdom teeth removed. Worse than getting my teeth yanked from my head was the fact I woke up that morning with excruciating cramps (not an unusual event) that decided to show up on the one day I was instructed to NOT take any medication. My usual mega-dose of ibuprofen wasn't an option to dull the pain (…it never took it all away).

So, there we were driving to the oral surgeon, and I told Mom she was going to have to pull over. Just in time, she stopped. I got out of the passenger side of the car and threw up. There wasn't much since I hadn’t eaten anything before surgery. My eyes watered. I deep-breathed to focus on anything but the pain, and then got back in the car.

Once we got there, there were forms to sign and words to exchange. I didn't care about any of it. I BEGGED them to just "Please, KNOCK ME OUT!" While you're talking, I'm suffering, and I'm DONE. Put me out of my misery!

Why should someone have to do that? … to beg to be knocked out by anesthesia to just make it stop?!? It was insane! You see. I had been told already by a FEMALE lady doctor that this was normal. Talk about feeling defeated and hopeless! There were many other times I writhed in pain - like, once a month from age 13 to 27 - until I finally got a diagnosis of endometriosis. Sooooo many doctor visits, trials of birth control pills and pain meds, being told my experience was "NORMAL" and "You're too young to have hormone problems." 

I felt anything but normal. Or if that was normal, I didn't want to be normal. I didn't know anyone else like me. I learned later that it wasn't because I was alone. It was because no one knew what it was, and nobody was talking about it

Well, once I had an answer, I did my own research. I went back to nursing school (which was and is still very lacking on the subject), talked to other women, learned from my patients, and dug into alternative methods to find relief for myself and so many other women that struggle with pain due to endometriosis and hormone imbalance.

I'm vowing to change the narrative and create a place where we can talk about what we're going through and educate ourselves on how our bodies are supposed to work and where the problem might actually be coming from, while as much as possible reducing or avoiding the need for medications that tend to make us more toxic and don't solve the actual problem

This magical place is a women's health community called What the Flow. Don't let the title make you uncomfortable. If any of what I've shared resonates with you (or you know someone going through hormone issues), there's much more that's made you (or them) "uncomfortable." It's hard to come up with a phrase that captures any better how we feel at times when our cycles are screwed up!

This community is for all of us in the struggle to finding hormonal balance. Together, we can share our stories, learn from each other what works (and what doesn’t), and come together to find the healing we need to get out there and be our best selves. We’re better together, and I really hope you'll join us once it's live VERY soon.

No matter what, keep advocating for yourself!

P.S. 👉🏻 Comment below and tell me if you've experienced period pain before. I'd love to hear your story, and based on your response may want to set up a time to do a 📞 interview with you to learn more!

Ready to join now?

If this totally resonates with you, then we'd love to have you join us now before our official launch in June! The first ladies to join through July will be our Founding Members and can join at a discounted price. We hope to see you there!

Healthy Hacks for Surviving Thanksgiving

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Behold, the season of all the good food is upon us.   

I've spoken to so many of you about what your biggest health struggle is over the holidays, and inevitably, food is a huge one.  You feel like you undo all of your hard work throughout the year in these last few months, only to start the new year off with new plans of getting your health in order again.  And the majority of us stay on that cycle for our whole lives.  Sound familiar?  

I want you to feel like this year is different. Instead of throwing all caution to the wind and waiting for the new year to roll around, I want to help you find your perfect balance of feeling on track and still enjoying the heck out of those yummy holiday dishes.  

That’s why you should make sure to incorporate these healthy hacks into your Thanksgiving to survive the holiday as well as the others just around the bend.  

1. Walk it off 

Instead of just lounging all day waiting for the big meal to arrive on the table, go for a walk.  Actually, my favorite way to start Thanksgiving day is with a morning walk.  It helps to set the tone for the day and feels great to start the day with some fresh air.  In fact, involve your relatives and make it a family affair by taking a long stroll after the big meal, as well.  Not only is it relaxing and good quality time, but it will also help you digest your food better.  

2. Eat your breakfast 

You may think you’re heading things off at the pass by not eating breakfast, however by the time you get to that big Thanksgiving dinner, you’ll be so hungry you’ll likely overeat. Make a healthy breakfast choice, and have a hearty salad for lunch. It will keep your blood sugar balanced so you won’t become too hungry, and you'll have made great choices all day and can indulge a little at Thanksgiving dinner.  

3. Lookout for the pitfalls of gravy 

Gravy is one of the things we look forward to at Thanksgiving -- a little extra flavor we don't typically have throughout the year.  However, be mindful of what you use to portion your gravy on your plate.  A large ladle can rack up an extra 800 calories, just for the ladle of gravy.  Instead, grab a tablespoon and drizzle your gravy onto your plate. By using this hack, you’ll still get to enjoy everything else and get your gravy too -- guilt free. 

4. Bring a healthy side 

If you’ve been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner, make your side dish something healthy. There are lots of tasty options that everyone will love -- make a salad with homemade dressing, or bake sweet potatoes and dress them with sprinkles of cinnamon.  These are incredibly simple and loved by all, so you can't go wrong with either.  You could also look up healthy Thanksgiving side items on Pinterest to find something a little fancier if you love spending time in the kitchen whipping up new things!  

5. Savor the desserts 

This is not a free license to eat everything on the dessert table, however, if your grandma makes the best pumpkin pie, make sure you ration yourself some room to enjoy a small piece. See lots you want to try? Then take bite-sized samples of each, then sit and truly savor them. Don't overdo it, but enjoy those desserts you only get to have a few days per year. 

6. Perfect your portions 

When filling up your plate, load it up with veggies first, then the rest. When you make the majority of your plate veggies, you’ll feel fuller without feeling overstuffed. Plus, that gives you room to enjoy that dessert you’ve been pining for too.  

Thanksgiving should be a relaxing holiday that you enjoy, but having a few boundaries for you to follow to keep up your healthy lifestyle will go a long way.  

Cookout Ideas That Aren’t Hotdogs or Hamburgers

One of the best parts of summertime is gathering outside with your friends and family to enjoy delicious food and conversation.  The fireflies, warm, dewy air and longer days are the perfect equation for gathering to experience the essence of summer.  Cookouts are a staple of summertime, but if you're trying to eat healthy, you may be left munching on the veggie tray as everyone else fills their plate with hotdogs and coleslaw. 

You don't have to be stuck with just the veggie tray.  There are numerous healthy options to choose from during the summer cookout months, so you there's no need to be left out of the fun or go home hungry.   

Here are a few of my summer cookout staples... 

1. Veggie Burgers 

Whether you make them from scratch or buy them premade, veggie burgers give you that summer BBQ feel, while avoiding the red meat. These taste great if you put them on a whole grain bun, or even a lettuce wrap if you are gluten sensitive.  Dress it with the typical toppings and condiments, and you won't even notice the difference.  Delicious!  

2. Cauliflower Mashed Potatoes 

We all love mashed potatoes, but many don’t like the calories or nutrient profiles of potatoes. You can now get the texture and love of this summertime favorite, for far fewer calories with some mashed cauliflower. Just add some garlic and olive oil for a delicious flavor profile that mimics the real deal.   

3. Sweet Potato “fries” 

The perfect companion for your veggie burger!  Skip the regular french fries and lean towards the healthier option -- how about some baked sweet potato ‘fries?’ They have a higher nutrient profile, and since you are baking them, fewer calories!  You can even toss them on the grill for a crispy option to sweet potato fries.   

4. Shish Kabobs 

Shish kabobs taste great during the summer.  Adding zucchini, squash, red onion and mushrooms make this a deliciously healthy and easy to hold meal.  If you desire animal protein for your shish kabobs, try tossing some organic chicken or wild caught shrimp in between your veggie layers.  Drizzle your favorite BBQ sauce on, and you've got yourself a delicious and healthy meal.   

Eating healthy through the summer months does not have to be hard.  With just a few minor adjustments, you can turn pretty much any dish into a delicious and healthy meal without skimping out on the flavor at all! So give these a try at your next BBQ, you will not be the only one who enjoys these dishes.  

This Impacts Your Health More Than You Know

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When we think about our health, we think in terms of what we're eating, what we're drinking, how much we're exercising -- but we rarely think about our health being related to what we think about.   

If this is not something you consider regularly, start really digging deep into the idea that your thoughts, your attitude, and your mental tone have an incredible amount of power over your health.  

The best place to start is with gratitude.  We all have something to be grateful for, so it's the perfect place to begin.  Here’s why gratitude is so essential to your health... 

 1. It boosts feelings of satisfaction 

Show your gratitude by putting it in writing. Get out your thank you cards and start writing. Write them to your kids’ teachers. Write one to your parents, to your spouse, your best friend. Writing letters of gratitude will ensure you feel good inside and out, and you'll be spreading those good feelings to those you're writing to.  

2. It builds relationships 

Find ways to weave in expressing gratitude for those things people do for you that you appreciate. Even if it's just your kids putting the dishes in the dishwasher for you -- express your gratitude. It will motivate them to keep doing more, and it will reduce your stress by seeing the good in things.  

3. It helps your mental wellness 

Taking a moment to be thankful for the things you have despite the challenges is good for your mental health and well-being. Sometimes it can be hard to see the good things in life, so keep a journal if necessary and write things down. When you feel low, you can flip through it and find something to smile about. As an added bonus, it boosts more than your mood by increasing energy levels too.  

4. You’ll sleep better 

When you find things to be grateful for instead of focusing on the negativity, it allows your mind to relax. This, in turn, leads to better sleep. Try writing a gratitude list before you go to bed to use this power to your advantage so you can fall asleep faster. 

5. It can help you with your exercise too 

With recognition for things that you’re grateful for, you feel happier. Feeling happier gives you more energy, and hence, it will keep you feeling good about your workouts too.  Sometimes the only thing we need is the motivation to START the workout, and a positive attitude helps get you there. 

Don't mistake this for feeling like you have to be positive 24/7.  Other emotions are real, necessary, and deserve to be honored. By all means, feel your feelings and healthily work through them -- but choosing to practice gratitude daily will positively shift things.  

Let's start practicing now! 

How to Prevent Stress Eating During the Holidays

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The holidays can be a great time of joy for many. But for others, they are filled with anxiety and stress. Sometimes, even for those that love the family get-togethers, the stress of holiday shopping, finances, and hosting relatives can tear them apart. When stress hits at this time of year, it’s easy to turn to that tray of cookies for moral support. After all, cookies won’t criticize you about your life choices the way your family will. 

But that’s not healthy and you know it. Plus, you’ll feel even less joy when you realize you’ve undone the whole year’s worth of fitness you’ve worked so hard for. If you find the holidays cause you to gobble down more than you should as a way to cope with the stress, we present to you these 5 ways to stop the stress eating before the first tray of cookies is trotted out to the company break room.  

Be active 

When your boss announces there are no bonus checks this Christmas or your mom says you’re still single because one of your nails on your manicure is chipped, instead of reaching for the holiday goodies, get outside in the fresh air for a walk, hit the gym, chase your kids in the yard, or just do something physical that appeals to you. You’ll release the stress and the exercise will help release the proper chemicals in your brain to make you feel better. 

 Workout your mind 

The brain needs exercise too. Instead of letting it harp on the negative things that cause you to stress-eat, give it something constructive to do. Take 10 to 20 minutes to yourself to read something you want to read, work on a crossword puzzle or do something else that stimulates your mind in an enjoyable way. It will help you feel refreshed. 

Focus on healthy eating 

While it’s true that the holidays are certainly a time for more indulgent meals, when you focus on your healthy eating prior to the big family dinners, it won’t be such a shock to your waistline. Make sure you’re eating meals as you would normally without skipping them. If you starve yourself all day because your job or your family (or both!) is making you nuts, you’re more prone to stuffing yourself at dinner with things that aren’t very healthful.  

Practice moderation 

Yes, there are certainly foods we only get to enjoy during this time of year like holiday cookies and cakes. But again, eating all of them isn’t going to do any good. So indulge mindfully and moderately. If you always look forward to your sister’s famous pecan pie, then focus on eating that when the time comes and say no to treats that aren’t as delicious like boxed cookies.  

Forgive yourself 

No one is perfect so if you find you caved in to peer pressure at work and ate treats you promised yourself you wouldn’t, forgive yourself and move on. Make the next thing you eat healthy and get moving on your exercise. But above all, keep your head up because that is the key to getting through the stress of the holiday season. 

How Keeping a Journal Influences Your Health

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Journaling isn't just for teens anymore. Science has shown that keeping a daily log of your day has a lot more benefits to it than merely creating a place to dump your deepest thoughts in private.  

You don’t need to be a writer or even want to become one to start journaling, but you might just want to run out and buy a cute notebook after you read these benefits journaling can have for you. 

Beneficial reasons to start journaling, if you aren't already... 

Boosts creativity 

It’s one of the more obvious benefits, but you’ll find that you become more creative when you just let it flow in your journal. It’s a stream of consciousness process that allows you to go where your mind takes you, and much like dreams, that’s pretty exciting. 

Restores mindfulness 

Happiness is directly linked to mindfulness. When you’re writing in your journal, your frustrations and anxieties ebb away, and you’re left to unite with your thoughts completely.  Sometimes simply having a place to dump all of your feelings, disappointments and thoughts also gives you a way to let them out and walk away from them.  This release helps you to feel your feelings, sort through them via pen and paper, and move along in a healthy manner.  It's quite powerful. 

Brings you closer to achieving goals 

When we journal, we often write about the things we wish we could accomplish. That café we dream of opening or that dream vacation we've had on our minds for years. No matter what it is, writing it down helps your brain focus on those goals and find ways to bring it to fruition. Essentially, it means you’re more likely to achieve those goals if you simply write about them first. 

Improved memory 

Writing things down not only serves to prevent you from forgetting them but using a pen and paper forces your brain to engage with it cognitively. That means even when you’re not writing something down in the moment, like say at a social event when a new contact tells you their name, you won’t space out and forget it if you journal.  

Better communication skills 

Keeping a journal is a way to help vocalize your thoughts. Interestingly though, it also benefits the way you speak, since it naturally forces you to build your vocabulary and put your thoughts in order. You’ll find that when you’re out in the world engaging with others, your journaling will have served you well for this purpose. 

8 Plants and Essential Oils that Clean the Air

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Breathing is a part of life that's of utmost importance, but something we rarely spend much time thinking about -- our bodies naturally take care of this task for us without any thought.  There's nothing sweeter than taking a deep breath of fresh mountain air, or breathing in the salty air as you look out over the ocean.  But how often do you consider the air you breathe day in and day out in your living space?   

There are many simple things you can do to assure the air in your home stays as pure as possible, and my favorite ways to do this are using plants and essential oils.  These, together and separate, can remove toxins that you don't see, clean the air in your home, and add an ambiance all the while.  Breathe new life into your home by using these plants and essential oils to purify your living space.  

1.  Aloe Vera 

Not only is it a great plant to keep around for relieving burns, but it’s also amazing for drawing formaldehyde from the air. Plus, in small spaces, just one will work wonders.  

2.  Lemon Essential Oil 

This oil purifies the air plus it has a very uplifting impact on you. Try diffusing some in the morning as you get ready for work.  

3.  Fern 

Ferns are perfect for your bathroom space because they’re happiest in humidity. While they’re there, they will take all the xylene from the area for a cleaner and healthier you. 

4.  Eucalyptus Essential Oil 

There’s a reason you smell this essential oil in spas everywhere. It purifies the air to keep it fresh plus it is an ideal natural decongestant. Use it in the chillier months or when allergies strike to clear the air and your sinuses too.  

5.  Spider Plant 

If you’ve avoided keeping plants around the home because you’re not good at keeping them alive, then this plant is a good choice. It doesn’t need watering very often and is fantastic for absorbing any chemicals released into your air. 

6. Tea Tree Essential Oil 

This air-purifying oil is one of the best since it fights away mold. Mold can lurk behind walls and may not be visible to you while still causing irreparable harm to your health. Tea tree essential oil can assist with keeping this from happening. 

7.  Chrysanthemums  

According to NASA, this is the best natural air purifier you can keep in your home. It destroys those air pollutants, keeping your home’s air clean and fresh.  

8.  Snake Plant 

If you have a space in your home that doesn’t get much sunlight, you’ll like this plant. It’s as easy to care for as the spider plant too.  

For the best clean air in your home, try incorporating both plants and essential oils. You can diffuse the oils, or you can spray them around your house daily. Unless you have a considerable space, one plant should do the trick in each room. See how much better you feel when you purify your air naturally! 

How to Do More of What You Love

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Do you ever feel like you’re giving too much of yourself?  When was the last time you made room for more of what you love?

Now that it’s spring, there’s no better time to do some spring cleaning for your personal life to get back more of what you put out there.  

 Here are ways to bring that into fruition! 

1. Be honest with yourself 

If you could create your perfect life, what would it be?  Write down the things that you would like to have more time for in your life, like reading, learning a hobby or spending time with people that you enjoy being around.   

2. Reflect on the things you’re currently doing 

It helps to make a list of what you currently spend your time on -- from working to caring for kids to running errands. Think of it as a synopsis of your weekly life. You’ll want to look at this compared to what you want to see more of in your week. 

3. Decide what you can compromise on 

You might not be able to change the fact that you have to go to work, but how you get there could be changed. Maybe the stress of driving is wearing you down. Instead of making yourself crazy, try taking the subway if you can and reading while on the train. Then you get more time to read, and you don’t have to deal with traffic -- a win-win. 

4. Stop saying “but” 

If you’re always saying you want to do something and adding “but” in there afterward, it’s time to change that way of thinking. Those three little letters are convincing you that you don’t deserve the things you want more of.  

Let’s look at a common place where you add “but” in your life. You need to get groceries for your family. No one can deny that’s not important. “I want to take that new hot yoga class, but I have to go to the supermarket.” Well, not exactly correct!  Our marvelous online world allows you to order all of the things you need and either run by and have it brought out to your car or even better, delivered to your door.  Problem solved.  

We even add this “but” when we need to make dinner. No, you don’t. You can prep those meals on your Sunday and voila! Your early evenings are free to pick up another pursuit. We’re so trained to feel guilty for indulging the things we want, but we need to do those things because we can’t be our best for everyone else. 

This month, I encourage you to focus on three things you want to make more room for in your life. It could be as simple as, going on a family bike ride once a week. I promise, once you focus on what you love, the happier you will be.

5 Recommendations for a Healthy New Year

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Does it seem like the years fly by faster each year?  Sometimes I can't believe how fast they go by, and this year is no exception.  We get wrapped up in our schedules, and before we know it, we're making holiday plans again with our loved ones.   

 Same goes for New Year's Resolutions.  We proudly proclaim them at the beginning of each year with the best of intentions.  We really mean to accomplish them, but nearly all of them fall flat before Spring even hits.   

There are many reasons why this happens.  To stick with your resolutions, you’ve got to be realistic about your goals. Here are some tips for creating resolutions you’ll actually keep so that when New Year’s rolls around again, you can try making a new resolution instead of the same ones year after year. 

 

1. Set up a reward 

Whatever you’ve decided, be it weight loss or quitting smoking or even both, you’re more likely to make a positive change in your behavior if you have a reward waiting down the line. Make your goals manageable, also. Saying that you just want to lose weight has no direction which is why this goal always fizzles out. Make checkpoints along the way if you're going to see those results, and make those rewards unrelated to food.  

2. Pair up with your pals 

Getting together with friends to better yourselves is an excellent way to build up your new good habits. Whether it’s taking a class together at the gym or learning a new craft like painting or pottery, teaming up with your friends will make it much more likely you won’t give up on your goals.  

3. Keep a written record 

Writing down your resolutions makes it more front and center in your mind. In fact, starting a journal around your resolutions is highly recommended. You can write what you’ve done each day to get to that goal.  

4. Dissect your resolutions into tangible goals 

If you’re serious about achieving your resolutions, before the ball drops, write out your resolutions. Then, dissect them into what you’re going to do to get there. So, if your goal is to lose 50 pounds, write down what you’re going to do to get there on a daily basis. You can commit to 15 minutes of exercise per day to start and then increase it at a checkpoint. You can also commit to swapping out some unhealthy items every week. Doing it this way will help you make the changes you want to see.  

5. Share your resolutions 

If you really want to succeed, tell your friends and family about your resolutions before New Year’s Eve. You will find much support and possibly teammates to take along for the journey. 

Don’t let another year of unresolved resolutions fly by. Make 2017 your year, it’s entirely within your reach! 

How to Know if You Have Adrenal Fatigue

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Being tired is something we all deal with – a simple part of life that we cannot escape.  But how do you know when your tiredness is normal or something you should pay more attention to? Adrenal fatigue affects a significant number of people in various ways, and you could be dealing with it right now without even knowing.   

 

Unsure of what the adrenal glands do, or where they even are?  Don’t worry – you aren’t alone.  The adrenal glands are located above the kidneys and they are responsible for producing important hormones.  When the adrenal glands are unable to work as efficiently as they should, problems arise.  This is common with people who are struggling with stress of all kinds – mental, emotional, physical.  When the adrenal glands aren’t functioning properly, the glands aren’t producing important hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.  When this happens, the body feels the effects in various ways.   

Here are a few ways to notice if you may be struggling with adrenal fatigue… 

Difficulty getting out of bed.  Insufficient sleep is one of the leading causes of adrenal fatigue. Without quality and adequate sleep, the adrenal glands will collapse. A patient suffering from adrenal fatigue often wakes up in the morning feeling extremely tired regardless of the amount of sleep they had.  

High level of fatigue.  High levels of tiredness or fatigue each day isn’t something to take lightly. Although aging can cause a significant drop in energy levels, there is still a distinct line between normal tiredness and something more.  If you can’t get any relief from your exhaustion, no matter how much sleep you get or how well you eat, be sure to see your medical professional.  

Inability to handle stress.  It’s true that many people seem incapable of handling stress well. Some people seem to suddenly be incapable of handling stress when they were once very good at it. When you begin to feel a sudden change in your ability to manage stress, seek the attention of your medical professional and let them know about your change in stress. 

Uncontrolled craving for salty foods.  Keep a close eye on your cravings. If you crave salty foods regularly or have a new craving for salty foods that you can’t kick, your body may be telling you you’re your adrenals are suffering.  When your adrenal glands are depleted, your sodium levels drop, causing the craving for a substitute – salty foods.  

Excessively energy in the evenings.  A person with adrenal fatigue may have too much energy in the evenings.  Cortisol levels are high early in the morning, drop during the day, before peaking again in the evening. Often, this can lead to having trouble sleeping at night. 

Other symptoms you should watch out for include:  

  • joint pains 

  • low libido 

  • dizziness 

  • dark circles forming under the eyes 

If any of this sounds like something you’re dealing with, please be sure to see your medical professional and let them know about what you’ve been going through.  The health of our adrenal glands are crucial in our overall wellbeing, so treating them well is of utmost importance. 

Easy Swaps For These Common Ingredients

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Have you been wanting to ditch the dairy and see what changes you notice? Or perhaps you want to try out a new recipe without setting off a food allergy, but you're allergic to one of the main ingredients in most recipes. It could even be that you're just one or two ingredients short of the recipe you want to try and don't have time to run to the store. For all these occasions and more, it's helpful to know a few common ingredient replacements to hack into your cooking skills. 

 Whether your goal is to be healthier, to use what's already in your kitchen, or to avoid a food sensitivity issue, these ingredient swaps can help you be a master of ingredient disguises! 

Butter  

Baking something? You can use coconut oil in a ratio of 1:1 in either soft or solid form to replace the need for butter. 

 Milk 

If milk is called for in whatever you're baking, you can swap it for any type of nut-milk. That means almond milk or any dairy-free milk in the same amount as called for in the recipe.  

Whipped Cream 

Want to top your fruit with fresh whipped cream but without the dairy? Use coconut cream instead. Just be sure that it's well chilled overnight and only use the solid parts for the whipping. It has such a fresh and light taste to it! 

Going Gluten-Free 

Instead of using regular flour, use a cup of gluten-free flour plus a half-teaspoon of xanthan gum. Read the labels though…some gluten-free flour varieties already have xanthan in them which means you won't need to add it.  

Eggs 

Whether someone has an egg allergy or they're vegan, you can still bake up tasty treats by replacing each egg in the recipe with 3 tablespoons of flaxseed meal combined with 6 tablespoons of purified water. Make sure you mix it into a paste first before combining it with your other ingredients. You can also substitute eggs with unsweetened applesauce, to make things easier.  

 Fish Sauce 

Many Asian recipes call for the use of fish sauce. For those that have allergies or follow a vegan diet, you can swap it out with either soy sauce or tamari. Although you won't have that same umami flavor the fish sauce will bring, it will still be delicious, and you'll hardly notice the difference. 

Grated Parmesan 

If you need to add grated parmesan to your recipe, choose nutritional yeast. Side note: it's fabulous on air-popped popcorn, too. 

Vinegar 

Vinegar is one of those that can stump you in the kitchen since there are so many types, but the good news is that it's very versatile. So if you have a recipe that calls for white vinegar, but you only have apple cider vinegar, you can use what you have. The only vinegar you can't just randomly sub in or out of your recipes is balsamic vinegar because the flavor is truly unique. Thankfully, it's an ingredient that meshes well with all diets so you won't be doing anyone harm.  

 With this quick list of common ingredients to swap, you'll be able to master any dish for any occasion or any dietary concern.

Healing versus Curing

 

With graduate school, comes a great deal of writing...papers, discussion board posts, and note-taking. I let the tears flow as I wrote this post in a message board the other night. I reread it...cried again and thought I should share it. There is a very important message for those who are on a pilgrimage to healing. Healing and curing are NOT the same. Once we accept this, we can embrace the actual process of healing and not let the absence of a cure be a total failure. 

Healing is a process of coming to a resolution between the mind, body and spirit. Curing is the removal of disease, or achieving physical wellness and balance. Curing involves the physical body, while healing involves the mind, body, and spirit as a whole (Ritberger, 2013).  I believe whole-ness is not achieved until we transition to the next life in heaven. It is something we strive for but is not completed until our time here is over. We are then released from our pain, suffering, and imperfections. Holmes shared some very powerful thoughts from religious professionals who are using a holistic approach with end of life in individuals, particularly hospice care. He mentions that some see, “death as the door to ultimate healing, whereas for some in the medical profession it is the ultimate, inevitable defeat” (Holmes, 2007).

I was fortunate enough to witness ultimate healing in my mother-in-law 11 months ago. My job during her journey with cancer was to be a source of information and support with her doctor visits. As a nurse, I recorded the information at appointments and typed up notes, and would explain what everything meant. I came up with medication logs once the pain medicines started, developed eating plans based on her symptoms, and did hundreds of hours of research. I never forced my own personal opinions on her. Just let her take it all in and make her own educated decisions, respecting those that she made even if they were different that what I would have done. I was her daughter-in-law in that she saw me emotionally hurt by the pain and situation she was in. I went back and forth from “nurse-mode” to “family mode”. She saw that I loved her dearly and treated her as I would have my own mother. For that I think she respected me for my loyalty and honesty. She said I was her angel, but in all actuality, she was mine.

Her and our family had hoped and prayed for her doctors to cure her cancer, but once we realized she would not be cured in the medical sense, we shifted our focus more to her healing. We consulted Alive Hospice chaplains and utilized the nursing staff to guide us through the process, making her transition as comfortable and as dignifying as possible. The nurses answered our phone calls at all hours of the day and night and they shared their personal stories. This sharing and connecting allowed us to further embrace the loss we were feeling while gaining the knowledge we needed to feel comfortable about the care we had to provide. I vividly remember talking to her, even after she was no longer responsive, holding her hands, putting essential oils and natural lubricants on her body, giving her massages, playing music that she enjoyed, and even putting her favorite football team on the TV during game time. We continued life in her presence knowing she would not be with us long. As her breathing changed, we took shifts laying on the floor at her bedside. I had a fear that I would not be there for her death. A very kind nurse shared her personal story of how her father passed from this life after everyone finally left the room. She said, “They will go when they’re ready.” Her story and words gave me peace and relieved my fear. When the time came, I was there, however. She allowed me to be there with her, holding her hand and praying over her as she took her last breath, one that can only be described as full of energy! It was as if her body said, “It is done.” When I read in Dossey & Keegan that the right relationship is the “process of connection among parts of whole that increase energy…” (Dossey & Keegan, 2016, p. 101) it made perfect sense to me. Even in her death, there was energy and that energy was a physical observance of her complete healing. Her body had sustained much longer than any of the doctors or even Hospice nurses had expected. It is my feeling that, she needed time to emerge into her something new. When her mind, body and spirit came together and were in agreement, her healing transitioned her through death. It really was a beautiful process, and I am forever blessed for being a part of it. That connection we shared has enriched my life, made me so much better for it, and is a big part of the reason I sit here typing this now. The grief since her passing has been difficult, especially for my husband, his siblings, my father-in-law, and countless others who were impacted by her life. Acknowledging all that I have above, doesn’t make grief any easier. It has however, made me less afraid of death. Understanding the difference between healing and curing is actually a weight lifted, and I’m grateful for the role nurses play in the process and acknowledging that there doesn’t have to be failure when there is not a cure. 

References

Dossey, B. M., & Keegan, L. (2016). Holistic nursing A handbook for practice (7th ed.). Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Holmes, T. (2007, May 8). Curing vs. healing: religious professionals subscribe to a holistic approach to health. Retrieved from Oakpark.com: http://www.oakpark.com/News/Articles/5-8-2007/Curing-vs.-healing/

Ritberger, C. (2013). Healing vs curing: they're not the same. Retrieved from Wisdom Magazine: http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/1026/

The Other Side of Fear

 

Today would have been Mrs. Barbara’s 65th Birthday. She loved birthday celebrations. No matter whose birthday it was, she was always giddy as a kid for the birthday person to open the gift from her. Today, my birthday gift in honor of her is truly bittersweet. 270 days ago, just 8 hours after her death, I wrote this:

I feel an immense void. Oh how I rejoice at her transition from this life to the glorious next, but her journey has been a big part of mine the last year as well. What do I do now? I really don’t know yet, but what I learned from her pilgrimage to healing…to her ultimate healing…is that God is all over this. He’s had His arms around me too, and just as He led her down each road and path, He will also lead me…and I am willing to follow.

The last several months, there have been many tears, prayers, joys, and setbacks as I have tried to follow God’s will for my life. I know that I get in the way, but more recently I have felt a consistent nudge. A nudge can feel uncomfortable. It can take you out of your comfort zone and make you fear yourself and your abilities. “Am I good enough?” “Can I really do THAT?”

What do you think of when you first hear the word fear? I think of scared, trembling, dark, isolated, unknown.

When do you feel fear? Maybe in an unsafe, unfamiliar place or going into a meeting that was unexpectedly called or when worrying about your kids when they’re out of your control?

What is the purpose of fear? Protection, to hold you back…or a tool for growth, to motivate or move forward.

Have you ever thought of what is on the other side of fear? We’ve been scared before. What happens when we’re no longer in fear? It’s usually a different emotion – relief, contentment, joy, anger, or acceptance. It’s also where dreams can become reality. It’s where we put our trust in something bigger than ourselves, and take a step forward.

Fear is an emotion in a moment. What’s on the other side of it can be a journey…the path to where we’re supposed to be, what we’ve needed, what we’ve longed for.

Despite my fears, I am ready to follow this path on the other side of them. So…where am I headed?

For those who don’t know, I am a Registered Nurse. I worked in the Neonatal ICU before I had my own babies, and have been at home with them the last 7 years. Last Fall Mrs. Barbara and her journey motivated me to consider my career from a different perspective. I didn’t want to go back into the hospital but wanted to work with adults and families to help them navigate all the confusing health information and assist them on their own pilgrimages to healing. Shortly after Mrs. Barbara’s heavenly birth day, I became a Certified Health Coach through the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute.

As I began providing health coaching to some clients this spring, I felt something was missing. And this summer…I felt the nudge. And I know it was from Him. I know because I questioned it again. “Are you sure?...ME?” I could list so many reasons it wouldn’t be the right time or that I’m not the right person. I even hesitated to bring it up to Chris. I asked God to please give me direction…that I didn’t want to go off on something that was actually MY will and not His. The very next morning, I brought it up to Chris. I expected him to shoot me down because of the money, time-commitment, and all the other reasons, but he didn’t. He was excited! Elated! I believe God speaks through our spouses, and He spoke through mine that morning. That day, I began the application process and last week was accepted to a Master’s level program to become a Holistic Nurse Practitioner, an advanced practice nurse specializing in a holistic approach to health and wellness. Holism is natural in nursing. We look at more than just the condition, but the whole person.

Chris and I have decided to form a business for my nursing practice and health coaching. We’ve decided to name it: Pilgrimage to Healing. We are so excited to share this with you all! All of you who have prayed for us, supported us, and guided us in some form or fashion. Starting a business is intimidating and scary, but exciting and purposeful. It is a way to honor Mrs. Barbara (especially today), to keep her memory and story alive, while being able to reach our friends, family, community, and the world with trustworthy information and supportive care.

Our new business logo!

Our new business logo!

Many things we go through in life require healing, and healing takes time. Pilgrimage to Healing will focus on educating and empowering people to take charge of their health and provide them the tools necessary to make changes in their lifestyle with support and accountability while respecting the time it takes to get there.

How will Pilgrimage to Healing help others? Well, I’ll have some more exciting announcements and offerings early this Fall, but I have a website with a newsletter and access to the services I will offer. I will continue blog posts and there will even be a Facebook group where we can connect more personally about the issues you’re facing and realize you’re not alone. I will face some of my personal fears, and speak to groups of people, take videos of myself, and dare to believe that people want to hear what I have to say. I won’t let my fears dictate my life. I will use them to move me forward because this is so much bigger than me. People are hurting, and I have something to offer them. God didn’t put these life experiences and passions in my heart to have me hold back now. I plan to share a wealth of knowledge, tips, support, and inspiration. We’re not meant to journey alone. Mrs. Barbara journey was and still is my inspiration. She brought me along on her pilgrimage to healing, and I would be honored to walk alongside you on yours.

I would love for you to visit our new website at www.pilgrimagetohealing.com. Please let me know what you think, and if you're struggling with your health, I would love to be a part of helping you get back on track!

What’s waiting on the other side of your fear?

Heavenly Father, the void is still there, and it hurts. I miss my Mother-in-Love. I couldn’t have anticipated all the ways I would be reminded of her, but I am grateful for the life she shared with me. Lord, I pray for all those still grieving her loss here on earth. Thank you for the other side of fear, Lord. I’m grateful for the blessing I have found there. Lord, I pray for Pilgrimage to Healing. I pray that it reaches those who are in need of support on their journeys and that You bless them, nurture their roots, and make their lives fruitful. I pray all those impacted see You as the light in their darkness. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.

 

 

 

 

Thankful

May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

Today is one month since my Mother-in-Love made her transition into Heaven. It seems like it was yesterday. Her Celebration of Life was so beautiful! I think it was everything she would have wanted. A time filled with memories of her life, funny and true. She was quite a remarkable lady. Thank you all for sharing your stories and memories with her with us.

I think of her all the time and I miss her dearly. Doing life here feels weird without her, but I know where she is and that brings me comfort. I imagine her up there still meeting dear friends and family that have passed before her and checking out her real home. I imagine her body, healed and restored, and no need to be concerned with any of the heartaches or dramas or pain we experience here. I imagine her making plans to serve her friends, doing some cooking, attending some sporting event and cheering loudly, or most likely being outside tending to something more beautiful than I can imagine. I am reminded of her in ways I didn't expect. Certain songs, seeing the comments she left on my Facebook memories or the pages she liked, and seeing big red trucks to name a few. In honor of her, on this Thanksgiving, which we were supposed to spend with her, I wanted to list 1 thing I am thankful for for each year of her precious life...64 things.

  1. Our Heavenly Father - I could make a whole other list on why I am specifically thankful for Him. The way He orchestrates life leaves me in constant amazement.
  2. Jesus - His sacrifice for me.
  3. Prayer - The prayers by all of you were and are felt. They sustained us when we needed it most, and I will forever be thankful for the power of prayers.
  4. Chris - he embodies all that God created a human husband to be.
  5. Christian - his confidence and passion invigorate me.
  6. Kaden - his tender strength and bravery inspire me.
  7. Kaylyn - her caring nature and fun-loving personality make my soul happy.
  8. My parents - the best, supportive, selfless role models a girl could have.
  9. My sister - her servant heart and giving spirit lift me up daily.
  10. My grandmothers - the wise women of my life.
  11. My friends - my wise counsel on a variety of topics.
  12. That we had 1 year to spend with Mrs. Barbara after her diagnosis. We don't always have that much time.
  13. That Mrs. Barbara allowed me to serve her. My soul has been blessed and enriched by the love she shared with me during her journey with cancer.
  14. My Bible - the answers are always in there.
  15. Bottled water - without it, I would be severely dehydrated.
  16. Minivans - they really are the best way to travel with young kids.
  17. Power sliding van doors.
  18. Crockpot - has helped me feed my family MANY nights. A tool Mrs. Barbara always encouraged me to use more.
  19. Keyless entry
  20. Dawn dish soap - It has many uses, but the best has been to get the vaseline out of my daughter's hair...twice.
  21. Aluminum foil - has saved me countless hours of washing cookie sheets
  22. Coconut oil - eat it, cook with it, lip gloss, skin care, wounds, etc etc. I use it for everything!
  23. Electric lawn mower - one of my favorite gifts from Mrs. Barbara!
  24. My church - a wonderful place that extends outside of the walls of a building
  25. My church family - filled with the gifts of the Holy Spirit
  26. Offer Group - our church small group that is like our second family
  27. Step Stools - not all short people are climbers
  28. Clouds
  29. Airplanes - It really fascinates me how they can get off the ground!
  30. Sunrises and Sunsets - They are like my "good morning" and "good night" from God.
  31. Rolling computer bags
  32. Luggage on wheels
  33. Football - instrumental in teaching my boys about math and many other life lessons.
  34. The hard times I've experienced - they make the good times even sweeter and I've ALWAYS taken something wonderful from it.
  35. Music - it uplifts me, helps me exercise, makes me act a fool in front of my kids (which I think they need to see)
  36. Alone time - it helps me miss those that I sometimes don't have a chance to miss.
  37. Essential oils - I truly believe they work...and if they don't, at least they smell really good.
  38. Being a mother - THE most challenging career I've ever had with the biggest opportunity to change the world.
  39. Writing - like the kind with a pencil.
  40. Whole 30 - whole food healing nutrition...the way God intended.
  41. Dishwasher - me, the sink, and floaties don't get along
  42. The ability to stay home with my kids - though challenging and not at all what I expected, I would not trade the time with them for anything.
  43. Beaches
  44. Christmas ornaments - they make my heart happy
  45. Santa - I still believe in the magic of Christmas
  46. Crafts - a creative outlet
  47. Brownie batter - a lifelong comfort indulgence
  48. Fresh herbs - they taste so much better
  49. Teachers - I love how they love my kids
  50. Our armed forces - that there are people out there willing to lose their life for our country's freedom
  51. Police officers - that there are people willing to protect me and my family in our community every day
  52. Firefighters - that there are people willing to go into places everyone else is running out of
  53. Garbage man - that there are people out there willing to do jobs that most of us think are gross.
  54. Fireplaces - the color, the warmth, the crackle.
  55. Mugs filled with hot chocolate, tea, or coffee.
  56. Rainbows - the Lord's creativity is majestic!
  57. Fleece - blankets, lined tights, jackets...so soft and warm.
  58. Inflatables - instant yard decoration and Mrs. Barbara loved them.
  59. Cajun food - there's nothing else like it.
  60. Socks - my feet are always cold.
  61. Belly laughs - they hurt so good.
  62. Photographs - they keep the memories alive.
  63. Memories - they keep the ones I miss alive.
  64. My life - it's a beautiful mess.

No matter the circumstances, I hope everyone has a very blessed and thankful Thanksgiving.

Heavenly Father, thank You for all the wonderful blessings in my life, mentioned above, and many more. Thank you for Your continued presence. I pray for those who are hurting tomorrow, those who are missing someone no longer sitting at the table. May Your comfort surround them. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.

Celebration of Life Arrangements

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4

I have posted Mrs. Barbara's obituary below. We are compiling pictures and memories for events during the service. If you have pictures to share, please post them to Mrs.Barbara's Facebook page or email them to Tricia Klein at tdsklein@gmail.com. Feel free to leave memories or stories you have of Mrs. Barbara on her Facebook page or you can comment on this blog post.

***********************************************************************************************

Barbara Martinez Rush, a native of Baton Rouge, LA, and resident of Mount Juliet, TN, was called Home on Sunday, October 25, 2015, at the age of 64 after battling ovarian cancer for just over one year.  She was birthed into Heaven peacefully at her home with her family at her side.  Barbara was a graduate of Baker High School. She worked for the Baton Rouge Police department in uniform patrol, and then for the Baton Rouge Constables Office before she retired and then owned and operated Central Sports before moving to Tennessee. Recently, she enjoyed her part-time work as a Security Officer at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel in Nashville, TN.  Barbara was a loving wife, devoted mother of four children, and “Memere” to 17 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild. All who knew her admired the “fighter” in her spirit. She inspired many people to stay strong through life’s trials and obstacles. That inspiration and strength is a legacy she leaves behind.

She is survived by her mother, Emma Dean Martinez; husband of 22 years, Charles E. Rush, Jr.; two brothers Henry J. Martinez, Joseph E. Martinez, Jr. (Hong); daughter, Jacqueline Jones (Mike); three sons, Chad Klein (Tricia), Christopher Schiro (Jennifer), Nicholas Schiro (Brittney); stepdaughters, Donna Rush Soniat, Dara Rush Bartee (Michael), Kelly Rush McGothren (Wes), Angelle Rush Butcher; grandchildren, Madeline Jones, Crawford Jones, Jessica Klein, Ella Klein, Christian Schiro, Kaden Schiro, Kaylyn Schiro, Easton Schiro, Cassandra Soniat Boyd, Heath Soniat, Brad Bartee, Brian Bartee, Chas Kelley, Weston McGlothren, Connor McGlothren, Gabriel Butcher, and Jayden Butcher; 1 great-grandchild, Clayton Monte; and a host of nieces and nephews.

She is preceded in death by her father, Joseph E. Martinez, Sr. and sister, Margaret Martinez Lombardo.

A Celebration of Life Memorial Service will be held on Sunday, November 1, 2015, at Resthaven Gardens of Memory & Funeral Home, 11817 Jefferson Highway, Baton Rouge, LA 70816.  Service will be held from 1:00-2:00 PM and visitation will follow from 2:00-5:00 PM.

Barbara benefitted greatly from the help of some wonderful organizations during her battle with cancer. Therefore, in lieu of flowers, donations can be made in her memory to the American Cancer Society (http:/www.cancer.org/) or Alive Hospice (http://www.alivehospice.com/).  Also, those interested may leave a personal note to the family here on the blog.

Heavenly Father, the days seem to go by quicker, almost lightning fast. The world continues to whir around me as life goes on. Lord, all the emotions you have gifted us with are not comfortable. Please stay by me and Mrs. Barbara's family and friends as we process the grief. Help us to acknowledge our emotions in the moment and not rush through them. Help us transition our lives back to a "new normal" without Mrs. Barbara in our presence. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.

A Peaceful Passing

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  -Proverbs 3:5-6

It is with a heavy, lonely, empty, yet peaceful heart that I inform you that my beautiful and precious Mother-in-Love has passed away. She took her last breath at 4:05 a.m., surrounded by her husband, Charles, son Chris, and myself. I was honored to hold her hand and tell her that I love her and I'll miss her as she left this life for the one she now has in Heaven.

I have been at peace with the understanding that her time here would be shorter than we'd like. I did not want to see her in pain anymore and understood that the cancer had ravaged her body to the point where she just could not survive here any longer. Either God would work a miracle or call her home to complete healing...and that's what He did. But I will say, I'm feeling that Mrs. Barbara (along with our Lord) had the final say on when she left...NOT the cancer. Her body continued to sustain far longer than the Hospice nurses and doctors expected, and she fought to the last breath. She survived just over 1 year from her surgery when doctors gave her months. She stayed at home with us for 12 days, when they only gave her 3-7. She exceeded all expectations. Her passing was peaceful, and though it has been difficult for us to watch her body struggle and change, it has also been a comfort to know her soul was strengthening for it's birth into Heaven.

Today is also her sister, Margaret's, earthly birthday. Margaret passed away many years ago from cancer as well. Today, Mrs. Barbara was birthed into Heaven and they share a birthday. I would bet Aunt Margaret was right there welcoming her home.

One of Mrs. Barbara's final requests was for those that knew and loved her to celebrate her life. She said, "I want people saying funny and realistic things about my life. I don't want a bunch of people crying over my body." For those reasons, her body will be cremated and her beautiful urn brought down to Baton Rouge for a Celebration of Life Memorial service. We, especially myself, have been extremely blessed to read and hear stories that you all have shared about your lives with Mrs. Barbara. What a blessing to see and feel the impact she had on our world! Please continue to share those!

We will share and post more details in the days to come. In addition, she was not the biggest fan of flowers, so if you are considering a gift for her memorial or family, please consider making a tax-deductible donation in her memory to one of the following organizations that were a tremendous support to Mrs. Barbara during her battle with cancer: American Cancer Society or Alive Hospice in Nashville. I will post additional details later on how to make these donations as well.

As I write this post, sitting in the spot where she lay the last 12 days and where she took her last breath just 8 hours ago, I feel an immense void. Oh how I rejoice at her transition from this life to the glorious next, but her journey has been a big part of mine the last year as well. What do I do now? I really don't know yet, but what I learned from her pilgrimage to healing...to her ultimate healing...is that God is all over this. He's had His arms around me too, and just as He led her down each road and path, He will also lead me...and I am willing to follow.

Heavenly Father, my heart hurts today. The void feels deep, and I ache for the loss of my husband's dear mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a cousin, a friend. For all those who are saddened by Mrs. Barbara's passing. At the same time we rejoice in her transition to your loving arms in Heaven. Lord, I pray the coming days will be filled with more wonderful stories as we remember Mrs. Barbara, and as lives will eventually go back to normal and the pain continues for some, I pray you will keep your comforting arms wrapped around us as we process the grief. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen!

Patiently Waiting

Therefore the Lord is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the Lord is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy. - Isaiah 30:8

I know many of you are anxiously awaiting updates on Mrs. Barbara. I hope the verse above can bring you the same comfort it has brought me. Without getting into each small detail, I will share with you that Mrs. Barbara has been transitioning through the phases of her death with such strength and patience and peace. We have done our best to give her the dignity that she deserves. Her body is extremely weak now. She is unable to talk, and she does not move very much. Her breathing has begun to change, so her passing could be anytime between now and a couple days, according to the Hospice nurses. We continue to hope for and pray for a miracle, but are at peace if God calls her home.

I know death and dying can be extremely difficult for some, even the person dying. There are fears of pain, loss of dignity, the changing body, remembering the loved one in a different way than they were before. I encourage everyone who reads this to challenge yourself to view death differently. Like I mentioned in the last post, there is beauty to be found in dying, and I am forever blessed to have been able to find it throughout Mrs. Barbara's journey and even as she dies. That does not mean that it is not difficult, heart-wrenching, or exhausting, but my hope is that by starting to view death differently, we can ease the transition for our loved ones and selves when our times are near. The Hospice Chaplain visited us this weekend and was such a blessing. She brought us comfort in the process. She explained that as Mrs. Barbara's body is getting weaker, her soul is getting stronger and preparing for her transition to Heaven. Just as birth is the transition of the baby for life outside the womb, death is a transition to life eternal.

Mrs. Barbara can still hear. If there is something you would like for her to hear by me reading it to her, you may private message me on Facebook or send me an email. Please continue to pray for continued peace and comfort for Mrs. Barbara and strength for our family today and the days to come. Your visits, messages of support, and prayers have been a wonderful blessing that has sustained us. Thank you!

Heavenly Father, I reach out to You during this emotional time. I thank You for being with us. We definitely sense your Presence. Thank You for the wonderful Hospice nurses, chaplains, social worker, and health aide. You have definitely gifted them with compassion and mercy. Lord, I continue to pray for a miracle for Mrs. Barbara. But I also trust in Your Will, and if it means complete healing is with You, in Heaven, I am grateful for the time I had with Mrs. Barbara here. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen!

God's Will Be Done

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28-29 NIV)

It is with a saddened heart that I share with you that Mrs.Barbara's health has significantly declined. As of today, she is home resting and under the care of her family and Hospice. She was discharged home from the hospital yesterday. The doctors, though not able to know the exact time the Lord will call her home, have mentioned that her time with us may be less than one week.

On Sunday and Monday we had discussions with the oncology team regarding the CT scan from Friday night. Her tumors had grown 2cm each. That, in combination with her level of pain and discomfort led them to believe that her symptoms were a result of disease progression and not a "tumor flare" as was hoped. She was too weak to consider other forms of treatment or to continue on her clinical trial, so there was nothing else the doctors could do for her. After speaking with the hospice representative, we elected to bring her home and have visits by hospice nurses to help with her comfort and care.

She has a PCA pump since she has a chemoport, which makes it easier and faster to give her the pain relief she needs. She has experienced quite a bit of pain, and that has been very hard to watch. Her regimen at home seems to have helped her pain, and her nausea has basically gone away. She sleeps and rests most of the day. She gets up to use the bathroom but does have a catheter to relieve some pressure on her bladder. We have her in her own nightgown with her own blankets, in her bedroom, surrounded by her pictures of family and grandchildren, memoirs, and cards. Though very sedated, she will still talk with us when we are with her. We have had some very special and wonderful moments with her when she is more alert. We take advantage of these times, letting her know how loved she is, how proud we are of her, praying for her, even singing (though we've apologized for none of us being gifted with singing abilities).

This is very tough, to be completely honest. I am sure there are many reading this who have intimately experienced the loss of someone very close by being along side them as their body, mind, and spirit transition from this life to the next. For me, this is a first, and as hard as it is, it has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. To love and to have been loved by someone enough for them to bring you along on their journey is a wonderful gift. For the caregiver, dying is not pretty or appealing to the senses or the emotions. As I have accepted the reality of what is happening to Mrs. Barbara, I have had a single phrase that keeps coming to me. "God created death." Just like he created us in life, he created our death, or this transition into life eternal with Him. It was designed by Him, so there must be beauty in it somewhere. I have been seeking that beauty in Mrs. Barbara's transition. I have embraced every emotion and tried to allow each one whatever time it has needed in the moment. In that, I have found that "peace beyond all understanding" and know that He is with me, and I know He is right here with her.

I, along with her family, are heartbroken right now, at times to the point of physical pain and anxiety. I have no idea what the coming days will look or feel like, but I believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ and that God's Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Please continue to lift Mrs. Barbara in prayer...for mercy from the pain, a miracle that only God can provide at this point if that is His Will, and that if He is calling her home, that the transition be a comfortable and peaceful one. Also, lift up Coach, her children, and family in prayer as they prepare their own bodies and minds to assist her during this time. Pray for the beauty in the process and the acceptance of God's Will.

Heavenly Father, my heart aches for my sweet Mother-in-Love!! Lord, I pray for her pain relief and comfort. I pray for her to know our love. I pray for continued strength and peace as we travel this portion of the pilgrimage with her. Your Will be done as we patiently wait for her ultimate healing. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.